tujuh puluh tujuh : masuk air, rather not to be read to avoid time wasting.

Assalammualaikum w.b.t


Alhamdulillah,segala puji untuk-Nya yang memberiku peluang bernafas sehari lagi di atas muka bumi-Nya.


If you know me well, you would know then, that i have been fussing around about my weight and doing diet for my entire life. (almost)


and today, just after a remark that have been made by a friend of mine, about me, physically, i was stupefied. taken aback. dumbfounded. he did nothing wrong, really. it's just, it has been quite sometime for me to receive that honest-kind of comment from anyone.


it took me a while before realizing that all this while, i've actually wasted my time and my emotion, worrying about myself, worrying how to be pretty (or thinner) in other people eyes when actually, i'm just not ready yet for the real metamorphosis.


ada jenis manusia yang suka merintih dan 10 tahun selepas itu, dia masih tetap merintih.


kerana merintih adalah lebih mudah daripada stand up and begin to take action about it.


back to my case, if i am really that desperate, wanting to lose weight or even , to be healthier, i would have done something long time ago.


because diet is not an easy phase. it's a time-and-money consuming process. tak caye?


dulu satu hari, makan junk food je dah cukup. money spent : not more 5€


on diet : kena beli sayur, beli buah-buahan, cereal for breakfast, need time to cook, material to cook (kalau nak kukus untuk kurang minyak, kena ada pengukus yang super mahal, etc), roti, telur blablabla the list goes on.


so, choose one. fussing about diet or go diet je terus?


you know, i'm not telling this just because, right?


i'm getting all worn out to see people these days saddening themselves, trying to tell us how people around him/her do not care about how he/she feels, about what he/she really want. but when actually, one day, we tried to tell him/her what we think they might really need instead of 'want', they drew away.


fine, true. we might not be in the postion to tell what you should and shouldn't do, kan?


but remember, you might heard this before and then, people who don't listen can't be listened by anybody.


i don't know where am i getting at, now.


just so you know, i'm getting enough with my own self unsavoury or, let say, peut-être je suis pas vraiment bien dans ma peau.


well, my childhood time was not a compliments-pampered period. there was nothing such as 'alahai comelnya budak ni.' or something like 'anak mama (or ayah) / adik kakak (or abang) ni cantik orangnye.'


so, i think i cant take all the blame, here. can i?


yes, i'm a faaat-macam-makcik loooking girl and didnt feel good about it. but i'm too lazy to do anything about it because sometimes, being fat-macam-makcik or nenek or even moyang (please make yourself to choose any adjective that correspond), you are unnoticeable in other people's sight.


sebab pada waktu-waktu tertentu, we need that privacy.


so the conclusion, please bare with my diet-fussing for the coming uncounted days that Allah left for us.


anyway, i'm not getting married or anything like that any sooner. so, why care? (eleh ye la tu tak kisah.)


now you know. in some cases, me too, i'm the kind that keep the fussing up, do nothing, but hoping it would be a reality when you wake up in the morning, one day. but do nothing. nothing but the fuss.


oh how words can be magic, heh?